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This On Hold Marketing production is a lot heavier than it sounds, so please use caution when trying to pick it up. And remember - always lift with the legs and your ascending colon. 

Scott wrote the copy and delivered the voiceover, but then dropped it all while trying to bench press it. 

 

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Careful! This BusinessVoice-produced audio is covered in aphids, thrips and bollworms, so listen at your own risk. Scott scratched out the copy in a patch of barnyard dirt with the business end of a steel, four-tine manure fork. He delivered the voiceover while in a silo. 


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"I don't find this to be appropriate content for decent people," said a well-known State Senator about this On Hold Marketing production. "Someone should be arrested for this." 

That "someone" would be Scott, who wrote the copy and provided the voiceover. If he were arrested, though, Scott has said he'd request the cell with the faulty lock and then wait until dark to jimmy it open and run away. 

 

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Y'ever trip and hit your face on a big, thick flagpole? The pain. The blood. The embarrassment. Get ready for more of the same while listening to this audible glob that critics have called "beyond disappointing" and "hard to get through." Scott wrote the copy, provided all the voiceover and tried to buff out the rusty spots but obviously missed a few. 

 

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Oh, how joyous the holidays will be for everyone who calls Binkelman during this festive time of year. When they're placed gently on hold, they'll hear the greatest story ever told.

Wait. That might be a bit of a stretch. Maybe not the greatest story, but a pretty good story. A very decent story.

Or at least not a really dumb story. But, yeah, it could be. 

Probably is, now that we think of it. 

 

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Let's test your memory! How many of these BusinessVoice Humor On Hold messages do you remember from the past year? If you said "none," you've got your priorities in order and you're focused on far more important aspects of life. Congratulations. 

Scott wrote all the copy, provided all the voiceover, edited the compilation and then sat on the whole thing to keep it warm until it was ready to release into the wild. 

 

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If you ever get the feeling that you've stepped in something and that the bottom of your shoe is covered in some sort of goo, there's a good chance it'll be this Humor On Hold production from BusinessVoice.

Scott wrote the copy in a way that makes it adhere to footwear. He provided both voices just to prove that he could. 

 

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There's nothin' like a crisp autumn day, a high blue sky and the smell of newly produced On Hold Marketing in the air. This batch was infested with chiggers, mites and fleas, so it sounds a little weird, but it managed to pass a rudimentary inspection.

Scott wrote the copy while trapped under a corn crib and delivered the voiceover while sloppin' hogs. Wellington Implement's President Tom Stannard pronounced the work "fantastic as usual." 
 

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There's this great story about a chimp who moves to the big city and he gets a job as a lyricist in a music publishing firm, but what he really wants to do is work as a garbage man, see, but he can't seem to break into that business, so he keeps slavin' away day after day, writing really smart pop songs and even a few Broadway show tunes and his lyrics are just fabulous and people love his unique approach and no one can believe that this chimp is behind all these big hit songs that are winning all these awards and rakin' in a ton of money, and then one day, as the chimp is sifting through an online rhyming dictionary while crossing the street, he's run over by the same type of garbage truck that he always wanted to work on and he's killed instantly. 

Scott wrote the copy and provided the voiceover. 

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If you look up the word "dumb" in an online dictionary, you'll see a link that leads to this BusinessVoice On Hold Marketing video. But since you're here, you probably already knew that. 

Scott wrote the copy after being repeatedly hit in the shoulder blades with a length of schedule 80 high-impact-resistant PVC pipe. He also provided all of the voiceover. An AI tool converted his read into the female voice, so now all of a sudden he feels like he's entitled to use any public bathroom he chooses.