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Let's test your memory! How many of these Humor On Hold messages do you remember from the past year? If you said "none," you've got your priorities in order and you're focused on far more important aspects of life. Congratulations. 

Scott wrote all the copy, provided all the voiceover, edited the compilation and then sat on the whole thing to keep it warm until it was ready to release into the wild. 

 

Details

If you ever get the feeling that you've stepped in something and that the bottom of your shoe is covered in some sort of goo, there's a good chance it'll be this Humor On Hold production from BusinessVoice.

Scott wrote the copy in a way that makes it adhere to footwear. He provided both voices just to prove that he could. 

 

Details

There's nothin' like a crisp autumn day, a high blue sky and the smell of newly produced On Hold Marketing in the air. This batch was infested with chiggers, mites and fleas, so it sounds a little weird, but it managed to pass a rudimentary inspection.

Scott wrote the copy inside a silo and delivered the voiceover while sloppin' hogs. Wellington Implement's President Tom Stannard pronounced the work "fantastic as usual." 
 

Details

There's this great story about a chimp who moves to the big city and he gets a job as a lyricist in a music publishing firm, but what he really wants to do is work as a garbage man, see, but he can't seem to break into that business, so he keeps slavin' away day after day, writing really smart pop songs and even a few Broadway show tunes and his lyrics are just fabulous and people love his unique approach and no one can believe that this chimp is behind all these big hit songs that are winning all these awards and rakin' in a ton of money, and then one day, as the chimp is sifting through an online rhyming dictionary while crossing the street, he's run over by the same type of garbage truck that he always wanted to work on and he's killed instantly. 

Scott wrote the copy and provided the voiceover. 

Details

If you look up the word "dumb" in an online dictionary, you'll see a link that leads to this video. But since you're here, you probably already knew that. 

Scott wrote the copy after being repeatedly hit in the shoulder blades with a length of schedule 80 high-impact-resistant PVC pipe. He also provided all of the voiceover. An AI tool converted his read into the female voice, so now all of a sudden he feels like he's entitled to use any public bathroom he chooses. 

 

Details

Having trouble keeping solid food down? Then take a healthy gulp of this soothing BusinessVoice audio. Once it absorbs into your stomach lining and winds its way through the wild, wild water slide that is your intestinal tract, you'll feel better than brand new. At least a 4.5 out of 5. Give it a try and then fax us the results. 

Scott wrote the copy, provided the voiceover and mopped up the floor after the vomit bucket started overflowing. 

 

Details

Scott jumped at the opportunity to record an online spot for this MadAveGroup client after he learned he'd be paid in his choice of Medium Carbon 1018, 1020, 1021, 1022 SAE J403 & ASTM A568 commercial-quality steel. 

 

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When the folks at Binkelman signed up for a BusinessVoice On Hold Marketing program back in 1996, they probably didn't think they'd still be force-feeding their callers on hold this audio gruel nearly thirty years later. But here we are. And the suffering continues. 

Scott wrote the copy and then kept rewriting it to somehow make it worse. He supplied the voiceover, too, while trying to suppress a mysterious influx of phlegm.  

 

Details

You can try, but you won't outrun this terrifying audio created for the data protection company AccuShred.

Go ahead. Make a break for it. You'll soon realize, though, that you can't escape its intense pull, so you might as well just fall down and give in. 

Scott wrote the copy, provided the voiceover and developed the chemical formula at the core of this production's evil. 

 

Details

Listen to this BusinessVoice Humor On Hold production closely and you just may hear the sounds of a reclusive snake being pulled tail-first from a bathtub drain.

Scott wrote the copy, provided the main voiceover and then held the bag open when the snake guy put the snake in the snake bag.