Produced through BusinessVoice, this Humor On Hold production may leave a mark, explode without warning or cause external bleeding if dropped on one or more feet. Avoid listening to this audio directly if you're heavy-handed, thin-skinned, horse-faced, a frequent vomiter, prone to dizziness, full of oatmeal or pregnant with anyone who is. If your doctor grants permission, you may listen to it through a wall. Scott wrote the copy while tripping on liver pills. Amy and Scott provided the voiceover, simultaneously supressing the gag reflex. 

UPDATE: Our contact Desiree Grosman sent this feedback written by one of D&F's customer service reps: "I was speaking with a customer today who I had put on hold for a few minutes. When I came back to the phone, she was over-the-moon laughing at the On Hold Marketing because it made her whole day. She said she thought it was amazing and made her laugh so much."