Give up, Gemini. Your dream of being adopted by TV’s Jon & Kate is fading fast.

Good news / bad news, Leo. You’ll be cured of your addiction to bacon when an angry pig jumps out a 4th story window and kills you instantly.

Careful, Sagittarius! Local law enforcement officials may not appreciate your  old-school  friction experiments with bananas and donuts.

Sorry, Cancer. Turns out two heads aren’t better than one. But how to get rid of your annoying Siamese twin? Yes, how indeed?

Congrats, Libra! Your Beyonce butter sculptures are bootylicious and the surprise hit of the junior college graduation season.

Hey Aquarius, good luck with your paralyzing fear of bed-dwelling vermin. By the way, you may want to sleep on the couch until your sheets stop moving.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 at 11:36 pm and is filed under Good, Clean Fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.