The recent link of salmonella poisoning to several types of tomatoes is sure to make life tough for many people over the next few weeks. So I’ve come up with a few helpful suggestions.

For instance, restaurants won’t be able to sell BLT sandwiches, so why not replace the T with another abbreviated food? Onions might be a good choice, though the BLO may be hard to order in mixed company.

Have tickets for a bad play this weekend? You won’t be able to throw tomatoes at the actors, so bring along something equally juicy to heave on stage, like a bagfull of grease or a wet hammer.

Once this scare subsides, tomato growers and marketers will be looking for ways to restore the bacteria-free shine to their product, so they may want to consider a new slogan, like this one:

Tomatoes. Salmonella-free and only half the herpes virus of corn.